I thought it might be fun to have a topic with quotes from professors that made you laugh.
Here are mine:
"It's not like a cake where the more raisins the better." -Martin Osborne
"I feel safer rock climbing than programming in C++." -Martin Osborne
"Ada is to intelligent design as C++ is to evolution." -Michael Meehan
In the world of black and white you have a TA with a map in shades of grey.-devin
"i've never made a mistake....except that time i THOUGHT i made a mistake" - kayaking instructor
"I'm sure you can all write an article about Palaeolithic Pornography." - Economics prof
"...So the next time a professor says to you, 'students were much brighter back in my day,' you tell that professor, oh yeah?? Let me see your undergrad papers! Oh, you don't have them? You didn't keep them? THEN SHUT THE F*CK UP!"
-My favorite psych professor, who shall remain anonymous
"A panic attack is like an orgasm. If you're not sure you've ever had one... trust me, you haven't." -Max Lewis
I couldn't stop laughing when a past teacher yelled, "Are you kidding me?, that is fucking ridiculous!". Sure it was scary, but hilarious because it was not directed at me.
This is an anonymous Math teacher, who made my Math experience at Western excellent:
Random student: "Um, like, how many questions are on the exam?"
Teacher: "A billion."
Random student: "Um, like, how long does the exam take?"
Teacher: "Well it took me 15 minutes, but you probably won't finish it in time."
Impersonation of an audience member at a speech given by a slave about the fourth of july:
"Frederick Douglass just ripped me a new asshole."
If you're a lit major, you can probably figure out who this came from...even though they asked not to be quoted, it was too hilarious not to share in this thread.
"Ada is to intelligent design as C++ is to evolution." -Michael Meehan
Should that be: Ada is to C++ as intelligent design is to evolution?
This is an anonymous Math teacher, who made my Math experience at Western excellent:
Random student: "Um, like, how many questions are on the exam?"
Teacher: "A billion."
Random student: "Um, like, how long does the exam take?"
Teacher: "Well it took me 15 minutes, but you probably won't finish it in time."
Lawl. The perfect responses to the dumbest questions.
That reminds me of another one:
Best math prof: "Well, [student's name], do you think this series converges or diverges?"
Student: "Um... [long pause] I don't know..."
Prof, calmly: "Well, I guess you wouldn't know, would you, since you've never turned in any homework."
"Statistics are like prostitutes... they'll lie for anything"
Microbio professor :D
"...boys don't tend to like vegetables..."
"...this isn't a very important university..."
[professor's name omitted to protect the innocent]
Best prof Ive taken: "Millions of years ago a giant pancake crashed into earth and killed the dinosoars, some people say it was an asteroied I like to think it was a pancake"
Ok prof: "yes there are people who don't vote but their opinions don't matter"
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